take a walk

Take a walk with me.....

OUR STORIES

I've been THINKING about writing but,..about what? why, oh, whynot?

 just write.

I kept feeling the urge to write, but... about what? Which one of the swirling thoughts in the sea of my mind deserves to be heard.  Many times, a thought comes to me, then consumes me,.. pulls me deeply in and speaks to me,.. I can be taking a walk, in my neighborhood, on a beach, in my mind.  

Here I am, ... at a beach that is very familiar to me.  

The day is overcast, alot of rain earlier and gusts of wind. 

I've worked today, rearranging my relaxing oasis of an oceanview master bedroom into a zoom capable Yoga studio space.  I woke up at 2 am, 5 am and finally rose at 6:30 am.  Yoga teacher,...uhm,... OK, Stressed, anxious,...happy was not on the menu.  The sun is trying now to poke through the gray, hazy sky... The die hards are out there, running, jumping, riding waves,... beaching...I am on the deck, overlooking the beach,...willing the sunshine to come,..from inside of me, out.... I just finished another book, reminding me again,.. be strong, be you... be bold....I had an epiphany just yesterday,..."it's time!", and then,... somehow, the doubt, the pressure to do the "right"things,... these overwhelming thoughts consume me,... all the, "I need to..", "I can't...", "I'm committed to"...all the bullshit...The voices and stories of old...THAT'S IT... I told myself,..."JUST WRITE"... and it will come... so,..yup,... it did. 

I've been thinking for a while about this,... our STORIES... THE stories that we tell ourselves... OVER AND OVER AND OVER again... and for WHOM am I DOING things FOR?

OK,..moving forward...It's the only way to move..or it is not considered moving.

So, it's time to take a leap...Why am I waiting... 

Well,... in the meantime,..I'll write.

We have all that we need, within us... We have all the wisdom we seek, inside...

So, why, then are we always searching, seeking?... ok, maybe not everyone but ME.  I can only speak for me.  My son says that I am never satisfied,... always trying to improve, make things better...He says my expectations ( we aren't supposed to even HAVE these...) are unreachable. Does that mean, unless I change the story, that I'll always be chasing that which doesn't exist?  What is it that I'm looking for? .... hmmmmm well,..it's a good start... the writing I mean,... here's a good place to start.

Worthy of Imitation

Worthy of imitation... is a phrase that I learned while deepening my understanding of Waldorf Education.  I was trained as a Waldorf teacher and had the privilege of teaching 1st grade at a small waldorf inspired charter school in northern Arizona.

Yet, I was introduced to Anthroposophy and Rudolf Steiner's works long before I became a Waldorf teacher.  I studied whole food nutritional counseling and massage therapy at a healing arts school in San Diego, California in the 1990's.  I did not know it then, but the foundation was set to delve deeply into Waldorf education.   The relevance would be revealed more and more through my life but most significantly, in 2004, when I became pregnant with my son.  As Waldorf teachers, we are reminded the children will imitate.

As children, most of us are taught, "do I say, not as I do".  As Waldorf teachers, we are reminded our actions speak louder than words, any of you who are parents, can attest to this, I know I can.  Children are acutely aware of their environment, they are inherently observers.  I am not fond of the term, "sponge", but I understand the context in which people tend to use this word.

Children do absorb, we all do.  The interesting thing is that in meditation, for instance, we are re-learning the "art" of observation.  In my opinion, as we "adult", we become so overly sensitized, judgemental (of our selves), attached and at the same time disconnected,... that the "work" we do in meditation is to "unravel, deconstruct, or break-down" all the layers that we have created over the years. 

In our lifetime, we try on numerous hats, costumes, and in the midst of taking on archetypes, identities and thoughts of other people and "things", we ABSORB these thoughts and they permeate our being.... thus "creating" us....Therefore,... circling this back around to children, being AMAZING observers,...YES!,... it is of the utmost importance that the thoughts, words and actions of the influencers in a child's life, be, "worthy of imitation".

WHEW! That's alot to say,... think, and feel!...

Over the past two decades, through counseling, teaching, sharing, traveling, parenting,etc.... I have had the opportunity to connect with a variety of people ( adults, children, etc.) in various stages of life, healing and growth.  I do not profess to be perfect or to have all the answers,... I explain occasionally to my teenage son.  I do not pretend to have all the answers, nor do I pretend I am flawless. What separates me from the norm, (if there is a distinguishment) is that each day, I wake up and try to make that day the day that I'll be the best version of me that I can.  Does it always work?,... uhm,... no,.. but it doesn't stop me from doing it ALL OVER AGAIN, the very next day,....In the past 20 years of sharing the practice of Yoga, I remind myself and anyone that I have the privilege of sharing with, that each time we come to our mats,...(if we come with openness and a loving, kind heart, and pure intention), we have the ability to observe ourselves.  If we can observe without judgement, disconnect from the emotional wounding of the past experiences, we have the ability to LEARN from our experiences and apply those teachings to RE-creating the KNEW (yes,... I meant to spell it that way,....Thanks to my dear friend Claire...reminding me that it is not "new" but the "knew" we KNOW it!...we are simply unlearning sometimes and thereby, what is revealed is what we already KNEW).  If that went over your head, read it one more time and if it is unclear, come to class! 

If we CHOOSE to come to the mat, take a seat, be still,...if we CHOOSE to do this, with the above mentioned mindset, I believe that the OPPORTUNITY is available... to shed that which has served it's purpose, and begin to rebuild the KNEW.  In holistic healing, we speak about alignment and synchronicity.  These are helpful aspects of contentment, but the foundation (or stage) must be set. 

 

Another aspect of "worthy of imitation" is the reverence and respect that we, as individuals have for others (on many levels), but even for "things"... The care and respect, the reverence that we show translates to how we will take care of ourselves, others and the "things" of others,...from a crayon, to a home, to mother earth.  We lead by example as creatures.  

I love a story that my grandmother told,...When my father was young, and had begun walking, my grandmother had a friend with a child that was a similar age but not yet walking (crawling as main mode of transportation).  My grandmother's friend decided that if my father ( the walking wee one) spent time with the master crawler... maybe the impulse to be upright would be conveyed and ultimately adopted by the crawling child.  And what happened?....the mother's let the children play for a bit and not long after, observed the young lads...BOTH crawling!... SO, you see IMITATION is interesting.  As a parent, we know that the influencers in your child's life WILL impact them in some way....We can not know exactly the patterns, behaviors and directions, just know that there WILL be influence.  

How can you be "worthy" of imitation? Be your best you.  You know, deep inside, what your BEST you is.  We make choices throughout EACH and EVERY day about who we will be.  Our thoughts eventually, thought over and over,... will take the form of words... words spoken repetitively, will transform into real life actions...these things ultimately are WHO WE ARE.  It goes all the way back to: what are you doing with your time.  What are you thinking,... what are you looking at, reading, listening to, eating.  What activities are you making a part of your daily routine.  We ARE creatures of habit.  We must realize that the daily patterns that we repeat, become a part of us.  

One last story,... As a waldorf teacher, we teach the students to revere and care for, not only themselves, their classmates and their teachers but also the materials and goods that they utilize to CREATE beautiful expressions of their thoughts.  In first grade, there is a transition in some classrooms that the child would,( instead of sharing all the crayons ) the child would  make their own individual crayon holder in handwork class, and be given the spectrum of colors by way of a specially made beeswax crayon to create with.  The teacher tells a story about the color of the crayon that the child will receive.  The story of yellow may be about how the bright shining sun provides warmth, healing, and growth,... the story would be TOLD not read and the children listen to the story intently. After the story, the teacher passes out individually this yellow crayon and hands it to the child to care for throughout the year.  The light in a child's eyes, while they have their hands cupped to receive this GIFT is beautiful, full of appreciation and reverence.  It parralel's how items in the classroom are cared for and continues to influence how the children care for one another.  This same reverence CAN be applied in the home.  People (not just children), observe how we do things, what we say, the manner in which we say them.  I share these things, not to overwhelm but to shed light and bring awareness to the fact that we constantly have opportunities to encourage and be WORTHY OF IMITATION.

It is a beautiful gift to be a part of a child's life, or a part of anyone's life really.  We should cherish these opportunities to share wisdom, experience, as well as openly share our own truth through teachings from previous bumps on our own path, etc.  I share these words because they have been significant in my own life.  I heard a quote not long ago, about looking back at the previous 24 hours of your life...Did you do, in the last 24 hours of your life, things that you are proud to be imitated?  What if you knew you only had 24 hours ahead of you?  Would your imprint be "worthy of imitation".  I do like the phrase, " food for thought" that's all these blogs are ....take a taste, digest it,... decide how or IF it is applicable in your life or the life of another...use what you need for energy and discard or share the rest.  

namaste'

underlying TRUTH

💓

I've been trying so hard to create a really nice class and environment and today was just a little crazy! Arjuna says I try too hard ! haaa... I'm always striving to bring a beautiful practice and I am mainly just saying THANK YOU so much! 

The reading to share is from a lovely book, A PATH WITH HEART....

I feel so strongly about the content that I wanted to bring it... 

Spirituality is a CONTINUAL movement away from the compartmentalization and separation....Spiritual growth is a movement toward embracing all of life.  

We must learn the art of directing mindfulness into the closed areas of our lives.  THIS IS WHERE we face the PATTERNS....We face the conditions,...These things shield us from the pain of the past.  To be free IS NOT to rise above these patterns but to go into and through them ( if not we just create more of the compartments ) We have to go into and through and bring them into our hearts...find a willingness to go into the dark.  We need to feel our holes and deficiencies, feel the weakness and rage or insecurity that we have walled off in ourselves. Bring attention to the stories that we tell about these shadows.  to see the underlying truth.

🙏

As we enter... WILLINGLY TO EACH PLACE OF fear, each place of deficiency and insecurity in ourselves ... what we discover is that the walls are made of untruths, old images of ourselves, ancient fears of false ideas of what is pure and what is not.  When we look into the compartments that we have moved away from,...we find that they are made from a lack of trust within ourselves, our hearts and the world.  As we see THROUGH them,... our world expands...As the light of awareness illuminates these stories and ideas and pain, fear or emptiness that underlies them, a deeper truth can show itself.  By accepting and feeling each of these areas, a genuine wholeness, sense of well being and strength can be discovered.  

I love💜 you guys and appreciate you all sooo much!

namaste'

Kerry